Doubt

With all the intentions of enjoying a wonderful day by the lake, sharing delicious raw food and interesting conversations, it just didn't happen. Disappointingly, the great raw picnic event was a non event. The interest in attending was not reached and the weather was not ideal. The failure of this event has slightly dampened my spirits today, following on from a 'low' couple of days.  

Like any 'extreme' lifestyle choice that ventures away from the normality's of general society, I guess the journey along this path can be a little difficult and can wear away at the emotions sometimes. Choosing a raw lifestyle can have so many benefits on a personal and spiritual level that are overwhelming, but at the same time, there is the downside, the daily struggle to 'fit' within society and the expected obligations. 

Over the last couple of days I have felt the negative emotion of 'doubt' lingering as I wonder why this can be so hard when it feels so easy. 

Doubt about the long term emotional negative effects this lifestyle will have on my children as they feel 'deprived'. Doubt about becoming a complete outsider to the entire community as we are continually excluded socially, doubt about whether raw diets gain the required nutritional requirement based on scientific evidence considering I have no scientific knowledge. And mainly, doubt arising, due to this lifestyle sometimes feeling so isolating and restrictive when all we search for is a life that is completely free and abundant.  

So, for the last couple of days and after today's non event, due mainly to non interest, I have been feeling a little flat and emotionally exhausted as I fight the conflict of doubt and reassurance in my mind.     

By freely expressing my raw preference, I feel I have also created an 'exposed' self image that I feel is now opened to judgement and requires a level to maintain. 

I am new on this journey of raw and find it somewhat difficult as we live amongst the world of modern living, with all its chains of supermarkets, cheap takeaway, constant media exposure selling junk, endless social events based on food and alcohol, acceptable long working hours for husbands and tiny backyards being the norm.             

So what is my conclusion to pull myself out of this low point?
Remind myself that we will be moving back East and will be living in the hills amongst like minded raw vegan hippies in the next year, then eat a slice of raw blueberry tart and go to bed.
But most of all, I think it is important to stay strong and follow my heart, my truth, my desire, the passion that led me in this direction - the search for a life of simplicity, for all that is pure and natural - a life of raw Harmony.